Roger continues in Bethesda. They are talking about letting him come home on Monday 12 December, but will make the decision on the day. We will be prepared for whatever happens.

Just when I think it can't get any worse, it does! I have had the most horrendous week and have leant very heavily on Irene. She has been thinking for me and doing a lot of running around. I am so thankful I have her close by and thinking more clearly than I am!

We had a meeting with the Dr's Monday morning trying to figure out a plan for Roger's care. Roger was booked to have a lung function test yesterday (Wed. 7 Dec) but we cancelled it as Roger didn't want to do it and also there is no point. It was going to be very difficult to get him to the other hospital anyway, as he hasn't been out in the wheelchair since his admission to Bethesda on 5 December. He is weak and very tired all the time. Roger and I wanted him to use a VPAP machine at night to help with his breathing, but it is too late for this now.

Roger had a chest xray last Thursday and his left lung has partially collapsed. His breathing is shallow and sometimes difficult, especially when he is coughing. I think this really frightens him.

One of the upsetting things for me is that Roger wanted to do a Medical Health Directive and when we went to see our lawyer back in August he said what we needed was an Enduring Power of Guardianship. Well, let me tell you this is not correct. Now it is too late for Roger to do a Medical Health Directive as he is not always thinking rationally. So now I have to do a Enduring Power of Medical Guardianship! Please, please my dear friends make sure you all do a Medical Health Directive stating exactly what medical help you want to happen at the end of our life, otherwise you are at the mercy of the medical profession to make those decisions for you. It can be so very complicated let me tell you!

So many things to think about and I am feeling drained, flat and exhausted. Fortunately Jocelyn arrived yesterday and I had my first good sleep in a long time. It is lovely to have her here with me at this difficult time.

On a lighter note. Irene and I were spending time with Roger after the Dr's had left on Monday morning and Roger seemed to perk up. He said "So, let's have a game of scrabble"!! We looked at each other in amazement and said "Why not"!! How precious is this! "Who won", you ask? "Roger of course"! He is the scrabble King! And we DIDN'T let him win either. He put the last word on the board PERSONAL to use all his letters and get a bonus 50 points!! Irene and I might have said a few little swear words!! I was left with a Z, Q and X ! ! Needless to say I lost. But is was so special to spend this precious time with our beloved Roger.