BLUE EYED SYMPHONIC SONG

Blue eyes brighter than a brilliant summer sky
Dark brown hair abundant around your head
A face that's comely you cannot deny
A voice that would recall us to our 'Daily Bread'

Roger in name and Ridley in nature
You held steady to the faith you professed
You always walked towards the future
Ready to be faithful and fully blessed

You loved people, it was plain to see
Always ready with a welcome
Food, beer or a cup of coffee
No one was ever barred from your home

Your heart burned for the gospel
You could speak it plain
On Sundays we'd find you beside the well
Drawing water for the thirsty again and again

If travel involved a trip on a train
No one was happier or easy to please
A joy in the journey you didn't have to explain
But boy were you an easy target to tease!

You captured a story not only with words
But with your tone of voice and expression you gave
Breath and life to people, flight to birds
And a lost world invariably you'd save

We were looking so forward to seeing you as Gramps
But your light burned brightly and not overlong
Still you filled passports with numerous stamps
And leave us with a symphonic song


Jocelyn Ridley
17/12/2011
In Memory of my Dad 19/5/1953 - 15/12/2011

MY DARLING ROGER

My darling husband and my very best friend and companion Roger passed into the presence of his Father in Heaven this morning 15 December 2011 at 8.30. He died peacefully at home, which was his wish. He was 58 years old and gave in to the ravages of the dreadful and debilitating Motor Neurone Disease after a very tough fight of just over 2 years. He was so brave and stoic and just didn't want to give in.

I haven't asked Stewart's permission, but I am sure he would not mind me sharing this very special poem he has written about his dear friend Rog. We met Stewart (from Cairns) in Basel, I think it was in 2007 and we became good friends with him and his gorgeous Swiss wife Katja.



My friend left this world today.
His name was Roger Ridley.
Although MND came on slowly.
It took him way too quickly.

"You must meet Rog and Gaynor".
I was told at Centrepoint morning.
Who'd have thought a short time later.
He'd officiate at my wedding.

He was my go-to guy.
For all things model and manly.
We spent hours on building, walking and talking.
And the beer went down very gladly.

He left a lasting impression.
On me and everywhere he went.
So long to my mate Rog.
Thank you for being my friend.

Stewart

Roger continues in Bethesda. They are talking about letting him come home on Monday 12 December, but will make the decision on the day. We will be prepared for whatever happens.

Just when I think it can't get any worse, it does! I have had the most horrendous week and have leant very heavily on Irene. She has been thinking for me and doing a lot of running around. I am so thankful I have her close by and thinking more clearly than I am!

We had a meeting with the Dr's Monday morning trying to figure out a plan for Roger's care. Roger was booked to have a lung function test yesterday (Wed. 7 Dec) but we cancelled it as Roger didn't want to do it and also there is no point. It was going to be very difficult to get him to the other hospital anyway, as he hasn't been out in the wheelchair since his admission to Bethesda on 5 December. He is weak and very tired all the time. Roger and I wanted him to use a VPAP machine at night to help with his breathing, but it is too late for this now.

Roger had a chest xray last Thursday and his left lung has partially collapsed. His breathing is shallow and sometimes difficult, especially when he is coughing. I think this really frightens him.

One of the upsetting things for me is that Roger wanted to do a Medical Health Directive and when we went to see our lawyer back in August he said what we needed was an Enduring Power of Guardianship. Well, let me tell you this is not correct. Now it is too late for Roger to do a Medical Health Directive as he is not always thinking rationally. So now I have to do a Enduring Power of Medical Guardianship! Please, please my dear friends make sure you all do a Medical Health Directive stating exactly what medical help you want to happen at the end of our life, otherwise you are at the mercy of the medical profession to make those decisions for you. It can be so very complicated let me tell you!

So many things to think about and I am feeling drained, flat and exhausted. Fortunately Jocelyn arrived yesterday and I had my first good sleep in a long time. It is lovely to have her here with me at this difficult time.

On a lighter note. Irene and I were spending time with Roger after the Dr's had left on Monday morning and Roger seemed to perk up. He said "So, let's have a game of scrabble"!! We looked at each other in amazement and said "Why not"!! How precious is this! "Who won", you ask? "Roger of course"! He is the scrabble King! And we DIDN'T let him win either. He put the last word on the board PERSONAL to use all his letters and get a bonus 50 points!! Irene and I might have said a few little swear words!! I was left with a Z, Q and X ! ! Needless to say I lost. But is was so special to spend this precious time with our beloved Roger.

Our beloved children Tim, Jocelyn and Glenda have been such a strength to me in these difficult days. They are so tuned in to how I am feeling and I just love them very much. I know it is so far away for them, being in Melbourne and also not being able to talk to their Dad. I've had lovely comforting phone calls from them and their wisdom and understanding is amazing. It just isn't easy at the moment for any of us.

Tom and Amy are amazing to. They are loving and supporting Glenda and Tim and, as much as they can, Roger and myself. Not easy when big decisions need to be made.

Thank you my very treasured family. I truly need you at this difficult time.